The Healing Power of Counseling: Lynne 💕 My First Good Counselor Who Helped Save My Life (Part 1 of 3)

If you’ve ever wondered whether counseling can truly make a difference, I hope this story helps you believe in what’s possible. After years of searching, struggling, and surviving trauma, I finally found my first good counselor in 1984. Her name is Lynne, and she became one of the most important people in my healing journey.

This post is a conversation — a real, honest, deeply personal conversation — between me and the woman who helped me rebuild my life. I want to share it with you because so many trauma survivors feel alone, ashamed, or afraid that their pain is too much or their story is too complicated.

I want you to see what it looks like to have someone who helps you carry it.
Someone who understands.
Someone who guides you home to yourself.

This is my story with Lynne.

Finding My First Good Counselor

I always say that before I found Lynne, I had tried three “crazy counselors.” And honestly, that’s exactly what it felt like — mismatched, unhelpful, confusing, and sometimes even retraumatizing. It wasn’t until 1984, when I was 27 years old with a three-year-old and a nine-month-old, that I finally found someone who truly saw me.

When I walked into her office for the first time, my entire world was falling apart.

I remember that first session vividly.
I didn’t know I was having panic attacks — I just thought something was terribly wrong with me. Lynne listened, nodded gently, and said, “You’re having panic attacks.”

It was the first time anyone had ever named it.
And naming things is powerful.

Overachieving, Controlling, and Falling Apart

Back then, I was the biggest overachiever you’ve ever met.
I felt like I had to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect everything. And of course, I wasn’t — none of us can be.

But I tried.

I controlled everything.
Every emotion.
Every detail.
Every part of my life that felt too big or too scary.

So in that first session with Lynne, I said to her:

“I just want to sit down one day and do nothing — and still feel good about myself.”

That was my dream. Not success. Not perfection. Not having it all together.
Just… sitting.

Just existing.

Just being enough.

And she helped me get there.

“Yes, You Can Afford It.”

I was a young mom on a sliding scale. My sessions cost ten dollars, and even that felt impossible. I told Lynne, “I can’t afford that.”

She looked at me and said gently but firmly:

“Yes, you can.
This will help your kids and your husband.”

I remember blinking back tears as I said, What do they have to do with this?
I didn’t understand yet that trauma doesn’t just affect the survivor — it impacts the entire family system.

She knew that.
And she believed I was worth the investment before I believed it myself.

Lynne’s Memory of Me: Fragile, Afraid, and Surprising Strong

When I asked Lynne what she remembered about those early days, she laughed and said:

“It was so long ago I can’t remember 15 minutes ago.”

But then she softened.

She said she remembered me being very fragile, scared of everything — even afraid to drive a car. 

And then she said the words that went straight into my heart:

“I am very proud of you. You have so much guts now.
So much more than you ever had before.”

Hearing that from the woman who witnessed my lowest moments meant everything.

She Became the Mother I Never Had

I told Lynne during our conversation:

“You were like the mother I never had.”

She was the first safe person I could tell everything to.
The secrets.
The pain.
The memories.
The fear.
The shame.

Every week — or sometimes twice a week — I walked into her office and dumped everything I had been holding.

That’s what counseling gave me:
a place to speak
a place to breathe
a place to be witnessed
a place to unravel and rebuild

And I always left feeling better than when I arrived.

Timing My Panic Attacks Around Therapy

Back then, my anxiety was so severe that I would try to time my arrival so I didn’t have to sit in the waiting room. If I sat too long with my thoughts, my panic would spike.

So I’d sit in the car, timing it, so when I went in she opened her door.
I’d walk straight in.
Straight back.
Straight into the place where I felt seen.

Because panic attacks were peaking just before therapy.
During the week I would journal, reflect, revisit memories — and by the time therapy rolled around, everything was right on the surface. My emotions, my triggers, my fears — all bubbling up and ready to erupt.

And Lynne always seemed to know exactly the right thing to say.

Not 100% of the time — but easily 90%.

Lynne’s Background: Why Her Approach Worked

I asked Lynne about her background because I’ve always been curious — what made her so effective when so many others weren’t?

She said:

• She had a master’s degree in mental health counseling

• She studied psychology at Michigan State University

• She trained in group therapy

• She learned from different counseling theories and approaches

• She focused heavily on unconditional positive regard — seeing the client without judgment

She also shared a powerful story about how she ended up running a group therapy program for survivors of sexual abuse. A clinic director asked for volunteers, looked straight at her, and she said, “Okay.”

That moment led to years of work with survivors — and eventually to me.

My Time in Group Therapy

I was part of that group Lynne helped lead, and it was one of the most transformative experiences of my healing journey.

The most powerful part?
Connecting with other survivors.

For so many years, you can’t talk.
You swallow everything.
You hide.
You bury your truth deep inside because speaking it feels impossible.

But in that group, we talked.
We listened.
We understood.
We didn’t judge one another.

No one said, “Oh my god, that’s shocking.”

Because we’d all been there.

There is something profoundly healing about being witnessed by people who speak the same emotional language.

Moving Away and Losing Her — And What I Learned After

I worked with Lynne for eight and a half years before my family moved to Florida. Leaving her broke my heart. Truly. I searched everywhere for the “next Lynne.”

And while I didn’t find another counselor like her, I did meet people who each gave me the next piece of my puzzle.

One insight.
One tool.
One perspective.
One gem of wisdom.

All of it added up.

Lynne and I talked about this — how different counselors have different styles, theories, and ways of communicating. Sometimes you need the same message said in multiple ways before it finally lands.

Just like riding instructors, authors, teachers — the message matters, but the messenger matters just as much.

Why Counseling Degrees Matter (In My Experience)

This might be controversial, but I’m honest about my experience:

Out of about 20 counselors I saw over the years, the two who helped me the most had counseling degrees — not social work, not psychology.

Counseling degrees focus heavily on:

• techniques

• practical tools

• client-centered approaches

• helping people move beyond stuck places

• understanding trauma responses

• healing strategies

And that made a difference for me.

Lynne explained that counseling programs expose students to a wide range of theories and techniques, allowing each counselor to choose what resonates most with them.

That flexibility allowed her to tailor her approach to me — and it worked.

The Birth of My Trauma Recovery Program

During our conversation, Lynne shared something that meant more to me than she probably realized:

“You’ve put together an amazing program for trauma survivors. It’s going to help so many people.”

She said the program is powerful because it blends:

• theory

• lived experience

• practical exercises

• neuroscience

• emotional understanding

• compassion

• and real tools that actually helped me heal

And she said something that touched me deeply:

“This program will be extremely helpful for both survivors and therapists.”

To hear that from the counselor who saved my life?
It was overwhelming.

The Power of the Right Counselor

Lynne helped shape the woman I became.
She helped me become brave, strong, and courageous.
She helped me find words for what I had buried.
She taught me how to feel, how to trust, how to heal.

Most of all:
She gave me the safe space I had never had before.

If you’re searching for a counselor, please don’t give up.
It might take one, five, or twenty tries.
But when you find the right person, everything changes.

Your healing matters.
Your story matters.
And you deserve someone who can hold it with you.

Begin Your Own Healing Journey

If this story resonated with you — if you saw yourself in the fear, the fragility, the searching — I want to help you take your next step.

👉 Download my free 22-page trauma recovery guide, “A Path to Peace.”
👉 Continue to Part 2 of this series.
👉 Continue to Part 3 of this series.

You don’t have to do this alone.
And you don’t have to wait decades to feel whole again.

I’m here with you — just like Lynne was there for me.